Thursday, September 28, 2006

And so it Ends

Well, to make the point of this post quite clear and circumvent my usual ramblings: Natasha and I have decided to break up.

I can honestly say that I saw it coming, and that I was planning to force some sort of conversation by next week if things hadn't turned around. For the past month and a half she seemed very distant and detached, generally acting very different around her own friends and generally refusing to spend time with me. I gave her space, and opted to allow her to use the excuse that Grade 12 really was time consuming. She started to resent my presence and nothing I did really seemed to change that. I would not consider myself star struck, being fully aware of what was happening, as I said I would of forced the decision by next week, or even sooner if I'd been allowed a private moment.

Not to my surprise we went outside today and decided to end the relationship. She reasoned that she has a lot of things on her plate, and couldn't keep a relationship going at the same time and that she herself had changed.

I do not pretend to think for one instance that those are the real reasons. Nor to I pretend to believe that she, herself, really knows why she doesn't like me. Those reasons are just what are generally accepted, no one really knows why, they just do. And for that, I don't feel the need to question her or her reasons for breaking up. I wouldn't expect an answer to my questions, so I'm not going to try. I understand that people are who they are, and do what they do; I would much rather let her go her separate way then injure us both in some futile attempt at a non-existent future.

My response today was very much like the second paragraph. I agreed with her, I saw to reason not to. I told her that she should be confident in everything she does because that is truly the one thing she lacks; and even if I were given another opportunity I would still tell her the same thing. Unfortunately I can't say this isn't going to hurt; despite being able to reason with myself, time and the universe, today, have just seemed to slow to a crawl, and my body feels numb or nervous, like If I was presenting to a crowd of 1000s.

I think that’s all I have to say on the subject and I would prefer to end this post with another Quotation.

Quote of the Day:

Nothing is lost upon a man who is bent upon growth; nothing wasted on one who is always preparing for life. By keeping eyes, mind, and heart open to nature, men, books, experience, and what he gathers, will serve him at the most unexpected moments in life.”

~Hamilton Wright Mabie (American Writer, 1845-1916)

Saturday, September 23, 2006

3 weeks of school...when's it gonna be summer again?

So I've managed to get out of doing this post for 3 weeks, and I had some spare time just now, so I figured I might as well fill it with something. I think it'll be best to do a timeline... because my long term memory isn't what it used to be when I was 16... =D.

Camping Trip: As per tradition, my family and I, always go on a last minute "It can't be school yet" camping trip. This year it turned out that we'd be going to the Algonquin National Park and got a campsite in our traditional "quiet" zone. The quotation marks are for those loud obnoxious young adults who played their old music on their old car stereos... or were they A-Track? Anyways, beside those guys I'd have to say it was a really good trip. I got to sit and read 2 non-fiction books (ironically my first ones of the summer). I entered into a pipe-whittling contest with Gab and Geoff (I should finish it and actually take a picture of it... it's obviously the best of the lot). We even tried to canoe... but as always "3" is the magic number where the canoe suddenly becomes more buoyant and more tipsy. It's always funny laughing at people with no sea legs (especially when their worse then me... and I’m a landlubber!). Unfortunately we got rained out on our last day and decided to save our Monday for some final R&R before hitting the school year.

First Week of School: I have to laugh; the first day of school was filled with zombies. Of course there are always a few chronically happy people who bounce from friends to friends but it looked like everyone had absolutely no purpose in life and would collapse on the spot. Luckily that Monday back from camping left me with some extra sleep, unlike other people, so I wasn't too worse for wear. Unfortunately that didn't make my day better. I had to sit in the cafe for 2 hours waiting for my number to be called (I was only 23, and the numbers went above 100). It seems that when the administration gave me a single locker, they didn't give me the locker number of locker combo... therefore of course they had to give it away to someone else. So to my surprise my single was gone and I got stuck with some kid I don't even know... I think his name is john or lee or something like that... long story short I’m using my girlfriends locker.

Second Week of School: Well it was a good week all in all. I got shanked with a philosophy essay already and now I know I don't know anything about the English language, sigh. All this semester’s work was laid out for me... I foresee having to write 20+ essays between philosophy and English, do many hours of proofs in Algebra and Geometry, and spend my nights taking notes and trying to understand my chemistry teacher's lessons. On top of that I’m going to have to read 2 ISU books, 3 different plays, a book on essay writing, probably a book on the English grammatical language, and countless philosophy books for my ISU (hopefully it'll be on semantics/language). There were some highlights though; my teachers look like a good lot. In chemistry I got suckered into arm-wrestling my teacher (weird story), and even though he cheated he still couldn't beat me, and we resigned to a tie. My philosophy teacher looks like someone who’s going to make me really research things before I step into that class. English looks like in-class write off and out of class work. Math... well it's with "Satan" so god only knows what’s in store for me there.

Third Week of School: Had a philosophy/math test... Math was interesting. Philosophy I believe went well, but I won't know until she hands it back. Friday was AWEFUL. For some reason the teachers felt the need to start a Grade 9 orientation week. So I was suckered into doing Drama's orientation on Friday for the last 3 periods of the day. By the end of it I was ready to kill someone. We literally got the worst group of kids of the entire bunch. 2/3 were fighting each other, One girl went postal on everyone (even teachers), one said he was going to faint, one wouldn't be quiet, and on and on. Class from hell and I think the only reason Natasha and me got stuck with them is because the actual drama class was being marked on it and we weren't (since we got voluntold to do it).

Other Interesting Things: I've started a new interesting hobby. I think I’m going to start trying to make ambigrams. I can't really say how this interest sparked, but I’ve already bought a book on it, and I’ve also purchased two books on Calligraphy (one is supposed to come with a proper pen). I've already created a really good one using the word Serenity, and if I get time i'll try to get a picture of it and post it. I've also started drawing a little more because it means I can put my artwork to an ambigram. Also I think my English ISU will turn out great. I finally decided to do "Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein and "Hominids" by Robert Sawyer (or whatever is the first book in that series). Other then that I can't think of anything more to say. I will try my best to do a little better on posting up to date information. I like that my hit counter went from 42 to 67 since my last post (because I know it wasn't me). Anyways that’s all folks. Here's a website on ambigrams and my quote of the day (from a new quote book I bought): (John Langdon, made the ambigrams for Dan brown who named the main character after him)

Quote of the Day:
"The unexamined life is not worth living."
~(Socrates 469-399 BCE: Plato, Apology)