Sunday, August 20, 2006

The Anwser to Life, the Universe, and Everything

Before I spit out my day's update I just have to point out that I’ve reached 42 visitors (about 16 were me). As all you Douglas Adam's fans know, that’s how many roads a man must walk down throughout his life. Too those who haven't been introduced to this fine author then you'd better read "The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy". If you don't... well I can't be responsible for the catastrophic horrible things that will happen to you...mark my words!

On a lighter note, today I helped my brother out. Went back to the coal mine in his basement and helped him manufacture some diamonds... by which I mean I helped him nail, screw, and cut pieces of wood so he could be 1 step closer to butting up jip rock and insulation! Just wait when I buy a house in... 5-6 years time!! ooo I’m gonna get you! Even got to break some boards; it's actually a really good stress reliever. Some guys even make it into a hobby:

Of course some guys make it into a profession. This guy has at least 4 Guinness world records for breaking concrete and bricks:

Well that's it for today's news update. Tune in later for more of my wacky eccentricisms! Aloha people!

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Eh Zoom Zoom!

I think I have finally managed to get "the" parents over the "Driving with their kid hump". Now being the last in the line I finally got to drive the godamn Concorde! Mom seemed to think I'd turn out to be a good driver... but that also might of been her attempts to instill temporary confidence so she didn't die (I'd lay my bets on the first option). I'm not sure what you people are complaining about, the damn car isn't that bad to drive? It's actually very smooth. Granted the steering could be a little more responsive, but what are you going to do? It'll just mean that if I ever skid i'll have to spin the wheel 10x faster then other people. I'm looking forward to trying to park it... that'll be... intresting. At least the extended front and back make for a really big crumple zone (don't worry mom I'm not going to crash it). Other then that I love the acceleration, doesn't feel like anything at all. I say power to the concorde! and down with all you haters who own smaller cars...*cough* corolla *cough*. That's my blurp on today's experience... but I guess in other news Colin is coming! Hooah! Brothers from afar! I also guess my girlfriend might be coming home soon. If I hadn't told anyone she left to go on a cruise (she really gets around =P) down to mexico, and I think up through the panhandle. I wasn't really given a date but she said around the 20th, and I predict her father needs to come back monday to work. I'll cross my fingers...toes...and all other appendiges (that I have 2 of). That's all I got! Until the near future, Adios Amegos!

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Who Likes Short Shorts? Really? (Part 1)

This is "The Page" reporting in at Griffyn Mirages control center. We have a breaking news story straight from the frontlines, I cannot delay any longer, and I will let you listen to our local correspondent, "Le Pagè".

That’s right "The Page", today I, "Le Pagè", took the first steps into Canada's most recent war zone, ground zero I prefer to call it. "But what war could that be?” you ask? I dare not speak it's name, I fear it might curse us all, just like screaming Macbeth from up-stage right. What I will say is that it's horrific, the carnage... it's... it's... everywhere! I don't know what kinds of people to do this... what’s that? We have some incoming images...

These are just a few images of the suspects arrested for questioning in connection with... this!

Do you not see what the world is coming to? Do these hooligans really think long weekends are a reason to do this? Unfortunately... yes. What you see here is the complete and utter destruction of Ontario's only party beach...Wasaga. Oh it pains me to see this horrendous site, how could such a pristine site turn into "this" after only a few days of hardcore drinking, bonfires, mass bikini sales, and melanoma.

... what’s that? Oh sorry viewers, I guess it's time for a commercial from our sponsors…

Who Likes Short Shorts? Really? (Part 2)

aaaaand we're back! Now here's 'Le Page' to share with you the 2nd part to our story!

Thank you 'The Page'. Now how could something like this happen? Well I of course blame such blatant advertisements as this:

Look at that... like it's okay to drink beer at the beach! What is this world coming to!

Luckily for us there is one select group of people who are cut out to handle such an ordeal. I cannot mention their names, as they chose to remain anonymous. On Sunday August 14 our four heroes; Gabe, Jenn, Sarah, and Alex... crap (oh they won't mind will they?). Anyways they went to Wasaga to assess the damage. They too felt the embarrassment but instead of retreating they instead moved forward. In only a few short minutes they turned that above... into this below...

Unfortunately we don't have any pictures of these heroes scrubbing the oil out of seagull's feathers shamelessly promoting Dawn dish detergent. I guess we'll just have to take their word on it. Despite the delay on this post, Griffyn Mirages is still your blog for all the up to date information connecting you all around the world. Until next (well it'll be on a need-to-know-basis) this is yours truly... signing off!

Friday, August 11, 2006

The 4th Dimension

I was perusing the Internet and came upon something REALLY cool. I was later informed that what I found was a long lost pop-culture icon. So for those who are in their late 20’s early 30’s what comes to mind when I say “Shepherd’s Watch”? Nope, not a rendition of “Little Bo Peep Lost her Sheep”, what’s your next thought? Nope, sorry Firefly fans, he died in Serenity, next thought? Ooo, that’s naughty…better keep that one to yourself. What you should be thinking about is that infamous maker of esoteric sundial jewellery.


Yep, that’s exactly what I mean! For some re-clarification I think you should just go to the website:

Do you not agree that these are cool? “Rings, Bracelets, Pendants, oh my!” They all look interesting, something that would start conversations, and their fully functional. If I don’t get one of these I’d be surprised. Unfortunately that’s all my exciting news for today… Happy Birthday Geoff! Aloha!

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Mmm Mmm Good!

Well yesterday night I ventured into unknown territory... I finally BBQ'd something. Took my first to slabs of steak, defrosted them, forked them, marinated them in Diane's sauce, and marvelously grilled them. Luckly it turned out amazingingly well and I got a pefect medium-rare peice of meat. I'm also going to assume that because I haven't keeled over and died that the mean was cooked properly. Thats all the news I can report for now, but if your reading this Geoff your going to have to come over and teach me how (and what) to properly marinate meat in... and how to indirectly grill some bigger catches.

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Parle [par-ley]

If the title didn't slightly confuse you, it should of at least forced a long since repressed memory of French class to surface; that is if your a true blue bilingual Canadian (by which I mean one who speaks 98% English, 1.9% bad English, and .1% Québécois). Or if you were one of the lucky ones, spared from reliving that traumatic experience (until reading the 2nd half of that sentence) you may of instead remembered "the code". That’s right! The "VERY" serious set of rules/regulations to which every pirate must abide by......... unless:
-It endangers your life
-It endangers your ship
-It endangers your booty...bounty
-It endangers your parrot or monkey
-OR (this ones important) it endangers your big hat (Without which being a rum running, thieving, swashbuckling, bandito of the sea is impossible).

NOW! If the title didn't confuse you, that must of! What am I alluding to you ask?


Or so aptly named, "The Dead Man's Chest!". I still think they should of taken a page out of Spaceballs and called it "The search for more money" (better yet, give it a pirate themed motif), "The hunt fer more o'yer buried treasure! Aaargh". What can I say?

So this is now the second time I've seen this movie (first on my birthday, and the second with my girlfriend or yesterday). This is one of those movies that will have you screaming and yelling at the ending. Don't get me wrong it's a GREAT ending, but... they have already filmed the 3rd movie (as if "the search for money" "wasn't" suggesting something). Just as X-men 3 left a wide open gap for a 4th movie, or worse, a spin-off movie... so to does the "The Dead Man's Chest". Don't confuse this with not tying up lose ends, you do know where everyone stands at the end of it, but if they didn't make a sequel you'd have millions of viewers march on Hollywood. Soon they'd turn to riots, then to mobs with pitchforks and torches (they might even get lucky and find the old Frankenstein costumes), the internet would be littered with homebrewn "Blair Witch" quality movies, the Chinese marketplace would be selling the "pirated" 5th movie... the world as WE (yes you and I) know it... would... end!

Well maybe not in such a melodramatic way but I have to say one of the best feelings of watching the ending, was watching it with my girlfriend, and watching her cringe and say "noooo! I want to know what happens!". (try it, it's fun)

As I don't want to ruin the movie, all I can say is the action scenes are really good, the plot is pretty good, and the costumes are excellent. All in all stop reading this... and go watch it!

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

The Prince and the Magician

Once upon a time there was a young price who believed in all things but three. He did not believe in princesses, he did not believe in islands, and he did not believe in God. His father, the king, told him that such things did not exist. As there were no princesses or islands in his father's domains, and no sign of God, the prince believed his father.

But then, one day, the prince rand away from his palace and came to the next land. There, to his astonishment, from every coast he saw islands, and on these islands, strange and troubling creatures whom he dared not name. As he was searching for a boat, a man in full evening dress approached him along the shore.
"Are those real islands?" asked the young prince.
"Of course they are real islands," said the man in the evening dress.
"And those strange and troubling creatures?"
"They are all genuine and authentic princesses."
"Then God must also exist!" cried the prince.
"I am God," replied the man in the evening dress, with a bow.
The young prince returned home as quickly as he could.
"So, you are back," said his father, the king.
"I have seen islands, I have seen princesses, I have seen God," said the prince reproachfully.
The king was unmoved.
"Neither real islands, nor real princesses, nor a real God exist."
"I saw them!"
"Tell me how God was dressed."
"God was in a full evening dress."
"Were the sleeves of his coat rolled back?"
The prince remembered that they had been. The king smiled.
"That is the uniform of a magician. You have been deceived."
At this, the prince returned to the next land and went to the same shore, where once again he came upon the man in the full evening dress.
"My father, the king, has told me who you are," said the prince indignantly. "You deceived me last time, but not again. Now I know that those are not real islands and real princesses, because you are a magician."
The man on the shore smiled.
"It is you who are deceived, my boy. In your father's kingdom, there are many islands and many princesses. but you are under your father's spell, so you cannot see them."
The prince pensively returned home. When he saw his father he looked him in the eye.
"Father, is it true that you are not a real king, but only a magician?"
The king smiled and rolled back his sleeves.
"Yes, my son, I'm only a magician."
"Then the man on the other shore was God."
"The man on the other shore was another magician."
"I must know the truth, the truth beyond magic."
"There is no truth beyond magic," said the king.
The prince was full of sadness. He said, "I will kill myself"

The king by magic caused death to appear. Death stood in the door and beckoned to the prince. The prince shuddered. He remembered the beautiful but unreal islands and the unreal but beautiful princesses.
"Very well," he said, "I can bear it."
"You see, my son," said the king, "you, too, now begin to be a magician."

The Magus, by John Fowles,
Dell Publishing Co., Inc.; pp. 499-500