Thursday, September 28, 2006

And so it Ends

Well, to make the point of this post quite clear and circumvent my usual ramblings: Natasha and I have decided to break up.

I can honestly say that I saw it coming, and that I was planning to force some sort of conversation by next week if things hadn't turned around. For the past month and a half she seemed very distant and detached, generally acting very different around her own friends and generally refusing to spend time with me. I gave her space, and opted to allow her to use the excuse that Grade 12 really was time consuming. She started to resent my presence and nothing I did really seemed to change that. I would not consider myself star struck, being fully aware of what was happening, as I said I would of forced the decision by next week, or even sooner if I'd been allowed a private moment.

Not to my surprise we went outside today and decided to end the relationship. She reasoned that she has a lot of things on her plate, and couldn't keep a relationship going at the same time and that she herself had changed.

I do not pretend to think for one instance that those are the real reasons. Nor to I pretend to believe that she, herself, really knows why she doesn't like me. Those reasons are just what are generally accepted, no one really knows why, they just do. And for that, I don't feel the need to question her or her reasons for breaking up. I wouldn't expect an answer to my questions, so I'm not going to try. I understand that people are who they are, and do what they do; I would much rather let her go her separate way then injure us both in some futile attempt at a non-existent future.

My response today was very much like the second paragraph. I agreed with her, I saw to reason not to. I told her that she should be confident in everything she does because that is truly the one thing she lacks; and even if I were given another opportunity I would still tell her the same thing. Unfortunately I can't say this isn't going to hurt; despite being able to reason with myself, time and the universe, today, have just seemed to slow to a crawl, and my body feels numb or nervous, like If I was presenting to a crowd of 1000s.

I think that’s all I have to say on the subject and I would prefer to end this post with another Quotation.

Quote of the Day:

Nothing is lost upon a man who is bent upon growth; nothing wasted on one who is always preparing for life. By keeping eyes, mind, and heart open to nature, men, books, experience, and what he gathers, will serve him at the most unexpected moments in life.”

~Hamilton Wright Mabie (American Writer, 1845-1916)


Gabriel said...

No comments? How can no one comment on this!? *Sighs* ahhh well... It is one o the most painfull lessions to learn. and even at that it's not even a "lession". Just an experience that has to be had to make one a fuller person. It doesnt beat mine though: Completely out of the blue, a phone call "It's over Gabe. I dont want to see you any more" *Click* :) I dont wish that on anyone... :-/

9:09 PM  
Jennith Peart said...

Hey Gabe,

You never told me about that.... why do you still speak to that one :P


5:46 AM  

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